OK Matt clearly is not reading my blog or he would be commenting on it and that’s slightly disturbs me because he’s the one doing a lot of the work in this house. So I’m gonna talk about Matt a little bit on this blog because he apparently thinks sleeping, eating and family time is more important than Cynster’s blog!! LOL I’m sure that Matt thinks that I hired him because he has mad skills but can I be candid here for a minute. Big deal that Matt can install a roof, lay a ceramic floor, lay laminate flooring faster than Trump can tweet, install backsplash, change a cylinder lock set to a mortise ( yes Matt since you don’t read my blog I forgot to tell you that we have to do that because I bought a lock set on eBay and I didn’t realize it was a mortise lock and the door is a cylinder and making a mistake on the door is not an option because the door is an amazing door with lead in the glass no pressure though 😭), install a toilet, plumbing, electrical, demo like no tomorrow and he tries to give me a plumbing list to go to Lowe’s and pick up plumbing things like I’m gonna get the right parts so he ends up having to return it at his Lowe’s and get the things he needs. LOL . He’s not bad at drywall, taping, sanding, finishing and he hates to paint but there’s no escaping that he’s painting this time around! And did I mention he’s putting this really cool deck off the dining room French doors because right now if I forget and open the door and step out I’m going to drop 15 feet Into a paved drive and Cynster will be no more . There’s probably a dozen or so people that will be happy with that, but for me to care about them I would have to care about them. I’m going to be honest with my people reading this post I can do all that stuff Matt is doing too. Just because the drywall seams would be lumpy, the plumbing would leak, nothing would be level, the laminate floor will have gaps wider than Letterman’s teeth, oh yeah and I probably would totally butcher changing the cylinder locks to a mortise lock and then would want to kill myself… OK enough I can actually do some of that stuff without botching it up ok no I can’t but the key to flipping a house is to get in, out and listed as quickly as you can and if I did all that stuff I would still be working on it Christmas 2022 and it would look awful and not sell!!!!
OK I’m about to let everybody in that reads this post on the real reasons why I hired Matt to help me. OK let’s start with his mom Susie. I love his mom and sometimes I will see her on her Facebook and she will tag Matt in something that she wants her son to do at her house for her and I’m not sure Matt went and did any of the stuff for my Susan and that saddens me because she’s entitled to everything she asks him to do, of course Suzie, after we’re done with this house. 💁🏻
The second reason I hired Matt is that he has this amazing little boy named Grayson and I know if I hired Matt that he would bring Grayson with him on some of the weekends and I will get to hang out with this really cool cat !!! OK I meant to type kid and cat came out and it sounded cool so I just left it! Also, when Grayson is there it’s a really good excuse for me to say Matt we’ll be right back and then we will like go somewhere fun and take a long time while we’re gone so things get pretty much done before I get back. 😂🤣😇
OK this is the most important reason why I hired Matt and he doesn’t really have the skills that he thinks he has 🤔🤥 But the real reason I hired him is I have this terrible fear of spiders and bugs and he’s not afraid of either of those. So I don’t do anything where there could possibly be a little spider or a bug hiding which in an unoccupied home for that long a period of time spiders tend to think the home belongs to them. 😳 So one of the first things that I do in a house when I get one, and I’m not exaggerating when I say this, I go to Dollar General and I buy between 12 and 16 bug bombs . I go there by myself and do this so it’s a little bit tedious of a job. OK yeah I understand that these bug bombs don’t kill spiders but trust me it makes them pretty drunk and easy to kill for Matt. 😳 Yes spiders still look creepy whether they walk slow or fast and I still won’t kill them. This particular home has three levels so I would have to be able to be super organized and take lids off all the bombs and get out of the house before I pass out at the front door or will become severely poisoned . So this is how I go about doing that. I take the tops off of all 12 or 14 bombs and I have an apron that I tie on me and I put them inside the apron ready to set off like a grenade. So each floor is going to get four of these bombs. Because I now know that the scent of these poisonous bombs rises I start in the attic area. I will let you know that in the last home I didn’t factor that important piece of information in my bomb setting and mistakenly began in the basement . I had brought my purse with me and my phone and keys and forgot that I left them in the basement. First mistake. So I go in the basement, and I untab 4 poisonous bombs and I make a mad dash to the main floor and I untab tab 4 more of these bombs at which time I started getting really dizzy because I realized the smell of the ones in the floor below had risen to the main floor yet I still have a another floor to do . As I was trecking up second steps, it struck me that I left my purse my keys and my phone in the basement which is now totally inoculated with poison . I know I can’t go back in the house for six hours so I’m not even thinking about my next set of the bombs because I’m realizing I have to still make it downstairs holding my breath to get my stuff to leave . I don’t take my first big breath until I get out of the basement as I previously stated, I didn’t factor in that I should’ve started upstairs and not downstairs …second mistake. I clearly can’t hold my breath very long so I make it up to the main floor and I decided that’s when I would take my big wind of air! I can’t hold my breath very long, I’m very nervous at this point, so I get to the third-floor and I don’t even untab the bombs and I run straight out the front door so I can get some more air. I did that because I know now that I left all my belongings in the basement and I have to light off the bombs on the third floor and make it all the way down to the basement in one breath or die. I run in, untab 4 bombs dying to take a breathe and I’m halfway down the steps to get my belongings and I hear behind me hey I’m sorry I just walked in the door was unlocked and I run back upstairs and drag this guy outta the house and have no idea who the hell he is…was I just about to be diced up and put in a freezer….. I said yeah that’s kind of weird you would just walk in the house who are you? He said I used to live in this house and someone told me you were doing all kind of great stuff to it I’d love to take a tour. If that isn’t the lamest thing I’ve ever heard in my life I’d be lying to you. What he said and what I heard were two totally different things. I heard I never lived in this house, I see it’s under construction and I’d like to help myself to everything you own as I’m entitled to your things and now since you’re here and can identify me I’ll have to take your things and your life. To this day, I’m convinced that the only thing that saved my life that day was the smell of the 12,000 bombs spraying in the home was so strong and that I shocked him when I grabbed his arm and drug him outside…I’m still hung up on why he walked in without knocking and I said did you just walk in without knocking and he said no I knocked for a little while but you must not of heard me and I was like OK so you don’t walk in until someone opens the door for you …it’s kind of rude in fact sir they have a special name for something like that….. I think that’s a felony I think it’s called breaking and entering you know 10-20…when you enter somebody else’s property without their permission . And I’m going to tell you, this guy look like he could’ve killed six people in one day and not phased him. 😳😩 so as I drag him out onto the front porch, there was another strange guy outside of my property with a truck he was loading copper plumbing that I just purchased at Lowe’s for the basement into the back of his truck. There were six pieces laying there up against the side of the house they still have the price tag on them. Now I’m sitting on my front porch with two men I have no idea who they are. I looked at the guy who is basically stealing my copper plumbing that I just brought there and putting it into his truck and I said what the hell are you doing buddy….. he replied to me I’m going to scrap it why ? I mean I’m not kidding I have to pinch myself to see if I’m really hearing what he just said. I said put it down right now I’m calling the police. He said I’m sorry I thought it was free I said what the Frick are you talking about it’s on my front porch with a price tag on it . Both of you need to leave or you are going to end up in jail for a very long time. The following day I had an alarm system installed and no other problems after that . Needless to say he never got to see the inside of that house and the guy helping himself to my copper plumbing never got to scrap it.
Anyways Matt thank you for bringing Grayson, for having a wonderful mother and for killing my spiders! I guess I can deal with your mediocre skills 😂🤣🤥